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9月21日托福獨立寫作真題范文:花園&運動場,如何抉擇?
2019-09-30 14:50   作者:新航道   閱讀量:

  持續推送近期托福考試獨立寫作范文解析,每篇范文都由專業寫作團隊編寫校對,帶你了解最實用的寫作范文。寫作能力,就是在一點一點的積累中提高的。

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  2019.9.21(上午) 獨立寫作題目

  “The town government has got some money to develop a ground.

  Do you think that the ground should be developed to a garden that everyone in the town can enjoy, or a sports field for the students in the high school who don’t have one?”

 

  寫作范文

  If my city council wants to hear my idea, I will suggest that the money is used to build a sports field for the teenagers who do not have one on their school campus. ← 完全可以用口頭陳述的方式來開頭一篇托福獨立寫作。當話題就是很everyday topic的時候,不要刻意“拔高”題目的立意,不要讓措辭太“嚴肅”,從而失去“話語感”。 Under the circumstance that some local high schools do not have a sports field for their teenage students, the public garden for all residents, albeit a good idea, is less important.

  The field is needed because the field will be a proper place for exercise and sports activities and also because teens need the place where their redundant energy can be consumed, which would otherwise be used to do silly things. ← 并列的原因狀語從句作為段落中心句的核心。 First of all, without the shared sports field, teens who do not have a playground on the school campus will never have good P.E. classes, without which their physical development may be in trouble. This is the simplest reason yet the most important one. ← “反證法”:如果沒有什么就出現什么“惡果”。 Second, if there is no such a place, where they can spend their time and energy doing meaningful activities, some teens may hang out in the streets and idle their time away doing stupid things.  ← 依然是“反證法”:如果沒有什么就出現什么“惡果”。 This sounds alarming yet does happen. Many cases of juvenile delinquency would not happen if the energetic juveniles could have a place to let go of their energy through playing basketball or soccer.

  讓步后置 → Admittedly, the garden seems to be a fair option as it would be provided for all of the residents rather than for a small group of them. Some people may never take a walk in the garden, and they may still want to have a share of it. Others may come up with a number of ideas about the benefits of having the garden, such as a landscape that elevates the environment of the town, a public space where people meet and know their fellow residents during the morning jog or theirwandering on weekends. 讓步后一定要質疑和反駁→ However, will the garden be made full use of? How many of the town’s residents have the habit of morning jog or jog in the garden? How many of them would stroll in the garden rather than visit the town’s mall or wouldn’t they prefer to have a chat in a café over a cup of coffee?  ← 并列的多個反問句來質疑/挑戰讓步的內容。 And to elevate the town’s atmosphere, the council may have a number of alternative ways that would not require such a large and complete space. For example, planting trees or growing flowers on the sidewalks of streets can also well afforest the town.

  At this point,  we should be convinced that ← 引導總結的內容時,不是僅有in conclusion/to sum up之類的短語 compared with the lack of a proper playground for the town’s adolescent youths, theelevation of the environment or having a public space is not so significant. Not to mention that the likely rare use of the garden or lesser need for the it.


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